


Only A Heartbeat

by HalcyonFrost



Series: Where We Start [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Acceptance, Alliances, Angst, Attraction, Canon Divergence - Captain America: Civil War, Confessions, Crushes, Depressive Thoughts, Enemies to Friends, Flirting, Friendship is Magic, Heavier Angst, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Light Angst, Loki Angst, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Feels, Loki Has Issues, Loki Needs a Hug, Loki-centric, M/M, Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One Compliant, Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase Two Divergent, Pining, Pre-Slash, Rhodey Is a Good Bro, Slow Burn, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-06-04 17:18:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6667498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalcyonFrost/pseuds/HalcyonFrost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It didn't end in New York. With hardly more than stories on tablets and mere minutes of actually talking with the man, Loki knew he had to have Tony Stark back in his company. He knew it was a cruel joke of the Norns to coerce Loki into interest in one that would surely not reciprocate, but time offered opportunities that Loki would not pass by. If he had to help fight a little war between the split Avengers, if it was what it took to keep Stark alive, then Loki would sharpen his knives and offer Stark a valuable - if entirely unexpected - ally: Loki himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Can't Read My

**Author's Note:**

  * For [STARSdidathing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/gifts).



> Blame STARSdidathing. Blame her _so much_. She wanted a Frostiron Civil War AU and had an idea that hit all my feels kinks, and I wanted a Thor 2 AU with themes of Frostiron that hit several of her feels kinks, then somehow they melded together and had me writing things. She even helped me with a shit ton of the tags and listened to all my shitty summary ideas and redrafts. So please read and enjoy our little brainchild, comment, and subscribe for more! 
> 
> Phase One compliant, but there are a few divergences in Phase Two. Most of the events happened the same, but feelings or endings were altered slightly. The endnote details it further, as well as mentions within the fic itself. 
> 
> New characters and tags will be added as they appear, so keep an eye out! I'll pop a note into the beginning note with any chapter update that comes with tag updates, just to avoid catching anyone off guard with something they don't want to read. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> You can go blame and thank Stars by checking out her own awesome team up fic called Sharpen Your Teeth with looser Civil War undertones but even more Loki and Tony putting together a strong alliance. Check it out. Seriously. Open it in a new tab so you won't forget and enjoy all ten (and counting) glorious chapters.

Loki could hardly say he was surprised that his work under Odin’s façade was so successful. The progress he was making in opening diplomatic dealings, partnerships, and agreements was openly praised by just as many of Asgard’s citizens as there were other world leaders commending the efforts. Considering how Odin had long ago destroyed most positive partnerships in his quest to make Asgard all the brighter by comparison, even one mutual beneficial deal was revolutionary for the likes of Asgard. Then again, Loki had always excelled in practicing and coercing relations between peoples. He was well-trained by pressure of environment and situation to be a fine mediator, smoothing over the rough edges left behind by people like Thor, but this was hardly something he enjoyed. Now it was all he did.

His task to take over Odin’s place had begun with the bitter hope that all of Loki’s losses could be a benefit. That erasing himself would free him from his chains. In some ways, he got it right, but he was also well on his way to truly erasing himself where he stood. He'd gone from the monster people could place blame upon and fear, to being nothing more than a shadow that the light had prevailed over.

For all the good he was doing, his methods of it were destroying him. Of all the titles gifted and carved onto him over the centuries - Skywalker, Liesmith, prince, son, disgrace, trickster - he was always _Loki_ , no matter what other name they choose to betroth to him also. And he couldn't allow his only true and lasting name to vanish to time as well. 

_How is my self-perception doing now, Mother?_

Would she encourage him to follow his heart and find himself? Or would she tell him he'd found too much already and to turn back? He had nothing to return to. His past was here. All of his pasts. The only bright point was her, and he couldn't go back to her. Not if the Norns wouldn't let him. 

His thoughts continuously cycled back to their last conversation, to her last warning, and how he still struggled with it now. Regardless of his self-perception improving - or at least his ability to recognize his issues was - that meant very little when he _did_ very little to solve them. 

_Cast enough illusions, and you risk forgetting what is real._

And there he was hiding behind Odin’s face while losing himself. This wasn’t the illusion she had been referring to that day, but the advice was nonetheless widely applicable. 

_I see one not of Asgard has a place in your dreams._

Loki hadn’t dared a single illusion of _him_ ever since, and perhaps it was better that Loki kept it that way. It didn’t ease the burning questions that plagued Loki, including if Stark was even _alive_ , but Loki’s fantasies were not a replacement for real answers. Such as if there was the possibility of… _something_ or if Stark was even willing to allow an interest from himself or from Loki. 

_You can't answer that question from here._

He did have the benefit of an all-seeing throne... That might help to answer something?

Suddenly the burden of the throne was heavier than ever. It felt like intruding to spy upon Stark without his knowledge or consent, but Loki was a creature guilty of many things and couldn't help himself for long. After but a few minutes in Stark’s company before the Chitauri’s release, Loki felt an infatuation and a curiosity that he couldn’t banish and that no amount of distance would quell.

It took but moments for Loki to be reminded that the Norns would not allow him such ease in seeking the one of his focus: Stark had every reason to despise Loki and none to favor him. Plagued by visions of the other side of the portal, Stark’s fears were haunting his other relationships. And he _did_ have other relationships, of both romantic and platonic ties, all equally strained by Stark's nightmares of his waking hours as much as during his sleep. Loki only had the heart to spy Stark's night terrors and following argument with the woman who shared his bed for mere minutes before turning his eye away from Stark's distress and upset. Before he swore not to look again. Stark surely had enough to deal with.

But Loki was guilty of so many things. And something bone-deep _called_ to Loki about Stark. Loki's growing displeasure with ruling led him to seek distraction from the insatiable itch under his skin and the heavy weight in his chest, and he could not stop himself from peering in intermittently in spans of anything from moments to hours even as Loki had to pull himself away to return to his duties for days at a time before he could look in again. 

Slowly, he watched as Stark struggled through his friendships, used the dozens of suits of armor he'd created to protect himself or others from almost every possible danger, and was conveniently able to have an army ready at the right moment in time. Upon reconciling with the woman he courted, his army even escorted them to safety while carrying the broken pieces of fallen armors for repairs. For all his method of coping was realized as such, Stark wisely kept his armors nonetheless. Still, his hauntings wouldn't leave him as he fought against his fears, only to create the embodiment of them and further drive a rift between himself and his friends.

With Stark's list of allies dwindling, Loki saw an opportunity for approach. Perhaps if Stark was desperate enough, he could see his own opportunity with Loki. It seemed that was Loki's true calling: the one everyone turned to as their last salvation. For blame or for help, it didn't seem to matter, but it was always easy to turn to a monster when at the end of your rope. For last chances, call Loki. If Loki could get Stark to listen, Loki might have his own chance.

Stark was alone in his forge when Loki peered in next and then watched until Stark seemed done with his current task. Once Stark had set down his tools and was walking towards the door, Loki un-stitched the Realms' weave and slipped through the rift. At the first second Loki appeared in the slightest, Stark startled back and threw his arm out towards the cluttered tables. A summoned vambrace and gauntlet shot through the air between and secured itself with hasty and sure clicks around his arm, the gem in the palm's center glowing bright as Stark aimed for Loki's chest.

"Friday, Answering Machine Protocol!"

 _"Message sent, boss."_ A voice answered from the ceiling, all in the mere seconds that Loki had to bring himself fully onto the earth and raise his own hands in innocence.

"I mean you no harm, Stark." Loki tried his best soothing tone, but Stark scoffed before Loki could even finish. "I am unarmed, as you can clearly see." No harm in preparing though, so Loki threw an invisible shield up between them in the case that Stark's patience was as thin as it appeared.

"No harm? Even without your scepter, you caused plenty of damage last time." He started a careful pace, circling equidistant from Loki as Loki mirrored and stepped in the opposite direction, never coming a micrometer closer even as they moved around each other.

"As much as I appreciate your notice of that, I would like to note that the scepter wasn't entirely mine. It was a gift."

"Some gift. Even gods can have sugar daddies?"

Loki's spine grew rigid as he forced his voice to remain even. "You might call him a 'former employer'. And not all gifts are welcome. The scepter was one I wished to be rid of, but to return it to _him_ was far more dangerous. Tell me, how well were _your_ people faring with it?

The gem in Stark's glove brightened in warning and hummed with power that didn't need to be explained as a threat. His next words were growled even lower than the droning thrum of his forge's machinery. "You knew and you _left_ it here?"

"At the time, I hadn't the ability to retrieve it, only observe it."

"And what, you've come back for it now? Too bad I don't feel like giving it away. Finders keepers."

"Don't touch your stuff?" Loki echoed from years ago. Stark looked less than amused now. "Once upon a time, I believe even I fell under that heading. Nonetheless, I haven't returned for the scepter now that you have it under lock and key, not that you'll believe my saying that."

"Sorry, not in the most trusting of moods lately. Least of all from a notorious liar. _Legendary_ liar, even. A liar of _literally mythic_ proportions."

It was Loki's turn for being less than impressed. "Your ancestors' stories. I'm sure time left them completely unscathed from their original state, just as both of us have remained unchanged since our origins, yes?" Stark set his jaw in irritation but didn't say anything else. Nor did he lower his arm either.

The glass walls at Loki's back slid away, and Loki fixed his shield to surround himself as he stumbled backwards while another suit of armor, similar but plainly different to the one Loki remembered Stark as having, landed with a groan of stressed stone under the goliath's feet. Raised arms and a small cannon on its shoulder took aim at Loki as soon as it oriented itself on the level.

"One step closer, Loki, and you're going down." This suit had a different voice entirely, unfamiliar from the other so-called Avengers that Stark fought alongside once upon a time, and Loki had to question who Stark would trust with another suit in the current time.

"I don't doubt he's taken care of that already." Stark said. "Friday? Readings?"

A screen suspended near Stark's head flickered to life and showed an oddly colored rendition of the room and the three beings inside - plus a gold dome surrounding Loki, exactly as his shield was. _"The field appears to be repellent to any outside interference."_ Was announced again from overhead.

Loki couldn't help it - he grinned and put his hands together for a few short claps. "Impressive. Your technology has improved since last we met."

"Yeah, had to. After you and now with the earth-origin witch on the other side, I had to make adjustments to sensors and defenses. Now put your hands back up and tell me what you want here."

Loki complied and presented his empty palms again. "Because the scepter wasn't all I could or did observe. And it seems like you could use some help."

The mask on the armor flipped up, and a man with rich dark skin stared out at Loki, glancing over in incredulity at Stark and back to Loki again. "Are you making a proposition?" The armored one questioned, and Stark muttered something about not needing to pay for his dates, but his companion continued: "Like an alliance?"

His eyes drifted skywards as he shrugged noncommittally and looked back to Stark's grimace. "Not quite. Think of me more as an investor. Moreover, I also happen to agree with your standpoint."

"It's always great to start an investment pitch by insulting the person you're trying to sell to." Stark said. “That’s just what I want to hear when I’m battling opinions and beliefs with my friends is that someone who tried to destroy a couple worlds is on my side.”

"You can share base opinions with monsters and not be one yourself.” Loki defended for them both. “It's all in how you defend your beliefs. And how many could be harmed in the process as 'collateral damage'. One must be held accountable for their own actions. Those left to run rampant, distributing justice where they see fit, more often dispense senseless havoc and mayhem than anything right. Fate has a way of returning to those that take responsibility for their wrongs." Prettier words for so simple a concept: divine revenge.

"Like karma." Stark interjected, but Loki could see vengeance in his eyes as well. No one needed to say it to hear it.

"They're called The Norns, and they are fate weaving sisters of incalculable power. They can weave misfortunes as easily as luck, but their powers are in setting events and meetings, not reactions to such occurrences. Cruelty is in the nature of more beings than humans, and those that exhibit it, the Norns fix the only way they can: by weaving their retribution."

"So what's your punishment for wrecking New York and trying to take over the world?" Stark's companion asked.

"A punishment I still suffer." Loki’s instincts nearly tricked him into looking at his punishment - unrequited love for a mortal that would die before Loki could even learn a fraction of what he wanted to know from Stark - but Loki had stronger control over himself than to allow the slip. He stared straight back at the other human instead. "For the damage to your world and many things before it. The titan that coerced me into the former will have a far worse fate than mine, and I see fit to be part of the Norns' plan to exact it upon him. But that is beyond here and now and has nothing to do with either of you."

"And you're not here to try to conqueror the world after taking out the people that stopped you last time?" Stark asked blatantly.

"Hardly. Why would I want to rule a whole world? Tedious and frustrating and spending every day painting a larger target on your back. No, I don't want to take over your world or any other. There's little control in being a figurehead of world domination anyway."

"Far easier to control from the shadows."

"Indeed. But only a few people at a time. The more are involved, the messier the plan, and the less likely it is to succeed. I don't want power; I want freedom. And that, I have to earn. So question me all you like, but I'm here to offer my aid to you and your allies."

"Why me?" Stark asked sharply.

Ahh, how truthfully to answer? If Stark’s favor was what Loki sought, then perhaps the more truth, the better. "Because there are so few people like us on any world." Loki summed up succinctly, then expanded: "You're a wanderlust with a wonder lust, never content with being a master of only one thing, always striving to know and want and create more and more fantastic things beyond the realm of imagination. You turn imagination into reality. I can easily relate. In all the realms, of all the beings, so very few are blessed with such a mindset and such a pure desire for knowledge; I would despair to see yours destroyed at the hands of the selfish and single-minded." Hiding the passion in his words perhaps failed, but it seemed to affect the two mortals in a way that was positive for Loki.

The one all in armor had slowly lowered his hands to a _less_ aggressive but defensive level without standing down entirely and even Stark's had faltered a bit. "Rhodey?" Stark said, apparently to the other man.

"I'm listening, Tones." He - Rhodey? - answered.

"That's the problem, buddy. So am I."

Loki had to recalculate his earlier estimates of Stark's companion again. Stark's voice of reason, perhaps? His consult? Not his consort, Loki could only pray, but it would be another fitting slap in Loki's face. He wouldn't put it past the Norns to make it a truly cruel addition; he had much to atone for, after all. But Loki didn't think it was solely wishful thinking that had his assessing Stark and Stark's companion's relationship as different for all it was one of obvious closeness.

With another silent shared glance between each other, Stark closed his hand and dropped his arm with finality, though he didn't fully relax, and Stark's companion followed the lead and let his arms fall to his sides. Assuming it safe, Loki put his own hands down finally. "Let's say we believe you," Stark started, "what does your 'investment' mean for me?"

"It means I don't let you die. You or anyone else you're invested in yourself."

"Like a bodyguard gig?" Stark's wariness turned to even sharper suspicion. "And what's it going to cost? Who's going to know?"

Very carefully, Loki built the walls back up around the hole in his chest. _Of course. What did I expect?_ "I know my presence and assistance will not reflect well upon you." He said stiffly. "No one else but the two of you will know unless you choose to let it be so. Even other realms are currently under the impression that I'm-"

"Deader than Babylon? So said your brother."

He felt the pinch of his own fingernails threatening to break the skin of his palms as his fists clenched tightly. The words he hissed out around a sneer were only barely less painful. "He is not my brother. Thor may see fit to claim me now that I've supposedly died with enough honor to not shame him by association, but he had cast me off long before that and cannot regain me. I don't forgive trespasses."

Something not quite discernible but seemingly approving stirred minutely in Tony's expression. "Duly noted."

"And if it's price you're concerned over, there isn't one. This isn't a deal, no 'tit for tat' bargaining, or contract negotiations. I'm only informing you of my presence whenever you might require it. Prone as you are to near-fatal events, I would think you would welcome the help."

"So you complimented me and said you wanted to do it because you liked me. Great. I've never heard that before. Usually from people that tried to kill me not all that long after."

"I'm no traitor!" Loki insisted, perhaps a bit louder than he intended, and he didn't miss the twitch of fingers and flare of the lights in their palms though neither mortal raised their hands again. Yet. "I'm no traitor." He repeated, slightly more normal of tone this time, but the vocal tremor of anger and upset betrayed Loki enough that volume made no difference. "All I have done has been nothing compared to what my victims reaped upon me first. _I don't. Forgive. Trespasses._ You have done no such things to me, and I truly have no interest in seeing you harmed by the hand of anyone, Mr. Stark. If anything, you may trust my rage, and that you are not among its targets."

"So you're focused on helping me because... I'm brainy and adventurous, and it's all out of the goodness of your heart?"

"I have no goodness in my heart. Many can attest to that. I'm focused on you because I've seen the repercussions that fall upon those that take responsibility for cleaning up the mess and the stress provided by those that solely create senseless chaos and leave the disaster for others to reconstruct."

Stark's face pinched into an incredulous look. "Have you seen the havoc I create?"

"I have, as a matter of fact. And it's significantly less than it was just a few years ago. There's nothing that says people can't see the error in their actions and change themselves. I have no patience for those that bullheadedly stick to the belief that their chaos is justified. Usually 'for the greater good' or 'for the good of the people' is the excuse. I have created more chaos than most, and so I pay a higher price. It's time that others learn of the consequences as well."

Loki pulled his hands behind his back and laced his fingers together, drawing his spine into steel as he awaited worse questions and suspicions to voice themselves. "You seem to be laboring under the assumption that this is an _offer_ of help. It's not. It's informing you that I am and telling you that you can call if you need me, even at times I have not shown myself. I would hate for your reputation to be _sullied_ by my mere association."

"I'm getting called a villain enough, thanks." Stark said casually, seemingly without notice of how much it cut into Loki. The Norns' fitting but cruel punishment indeed.

And then Stark went and surprised Loki again:

"But you don't seem to be acting like one." Stark took a hold of his own gauntlet at the wrist until it shuddered and unfolded from his arm, effectively dismantling his weapon and defense in front of Loki. Likewise, his companion's suit split down the front and the man himself stepped out without any other protection visible other than plain clothes. How small they looked without massive suits and plates, but each man carried himself with such utmost confidence that Loki nearly envied it.

"Isn't it sad how many 'villains' are very much not that?" Stark continued. "Antagonists, everyone's got those, but real villains? Way less. I'm Rogers' latest antagonist; he’s mine. And yet is there really a hero among either side? Except Rhodey here." He jerked his head towards his friend, and "Rhodey" pulled a small grin that said he'd heard that plenty. "Then again, he's a hero just for putting up with me for so long. Such a soldier. Oh, yeah, and the actual being a soldier too."

Setting the gauntlet on a nearby table, Stark turned back to Loki with marked ease, unusual for the guarded looks he was sending to Loki just five minutes earlier. "Keeping me safe whether I approve of it or not, huh? Alright, I'm game. It's not a fight of numbers regardless, it's a fight for beliefs. And God knows-" the corner of his mouth twitched up in amusement, " _you_ know that those fights are the hardest. Why wouldn't I want an alien guardian angel, right?"

It was what Loki had wished would happen, but he found it hard to fathom being faced with it. Was Stark actually accepting Loki's protection? Even inviting it? Was Loki going to reach out to touch these illusions and pass right through them again? "You're trusting me with this?"

"I'm taking a chance. You've always been interesting; you should be even more interesting on my side. Only logical."

Loki nearly startled again like it was an attack when Stark stepped forward and offered his palm out to Loki. But at least Stark had the good grace to not mention it and wait patiently as Loki stared at him like a dead carcass before dropping his shields and reaching out for Stark. He waited for his hand to pass through air, finally reveal its lie, and -

Stark's skin was _warm_. And his eyes warmer as he smiled and shook Loki's hand.

"Good to meet you again, Loki. Meet my better half-" he nodded towards his friend, "James Rhodes. He's what you might call my other investor."

"Pleasure." Rhodes greeted succinctly but offered his own hand nonetheless. Loki hated to release Stark's even to return the gesture for Rhodes, but if there was any better way to ease into Stark's graces in more ways than just one, Loki knew it would be through Rhodes. Ten minutes in both of their companies made that very clear.

"Gee, now I'm kind of torn." Stark made a contemplative face. "On the one hand, prejudice against your very name unjustly smearing the names of everyone else on my team. On the other hand, being able to say I have you looking over me like a terrifying, near-invincible guardian. Honestly, I'm undecided." 

"Mentioning me will not help your cause." As oddly touched as Loki was that Stark was even _considering_ making public their association. Especially as he phrased it as being a bragging right. Like Loki was something to be boastful of, not for an extra number, but because of who Loki was and what he could do. The thought renewed the ache in his chest to something softer but no less longing.

"Maybe not. But I would love to see the look on their faces. And what's it say about them that even a so-called villain can own up to his shit before they can? I don't know; I'm kind of liking this idea."

"It would be the quintessential classic American hero against a former weapons merchant and an alien that was part of an attempt to destroy an American city. No offense, Loki." Rhodes excused without apologizing. It wasn't necessary either way, and Loki waved it away.

"I didn't fake my death because I thought people would mourn." He answered honestly.

Stark made a displeased face. "Well, they're going to regret not valuing you now, aren't they? Sucks to be anyone you don't like."

Taken aback between surprise and flattery, Loki could summon few words to respond: "My plan exactly." Then he pulled himself together enough for something better. "The Norns must have someone to exact the redress they set in motion. I intend to be a part of their plans."

"After all, it isn't fair that you pay for your sins when others don't, right?"

Out of context, perhaps that would sound scathing or confrontational, but Loki read Stark's tone and expression differently. Not as a sarcastic attack on Loki, but as a personal opinion. A _favorable_ and approving one.

Stark shared with Loki a matching smile of self-deprecation and a little relief that someone else understood.

_How dare you defy even my wildest hopes. You are nothing like and everything that I adore in company._

"I shouldn't stay long." Loki finally excused, feeling too much like he already had when perhaps he shouldn't have come at all.

"You just popped in to tell me you're watching?"

"Everyone needs to know they're not alone. I thought you might appreciate a potential backup."

"An ace up the sleeve. Yeah, I'm totally going to be boasting about that even if I can't say names."

Rhodes seemed to sympathize with Loki’s apparent expression of being poleaxed, and he smothered a laugh behind his hand. "You get used to it, Loki. For all Tony likes to boast about himself, he brags about his friends more."

"All which fall under bragging about what good taste I have in company."

Loki's brain had stuttered over the casual utterance of "friend" like it was an issue of Allspeak malfunctioning. Surely he wasn't that to them yet. A slip of the tongue then was the only possibility.

"I must go," he repeated and then thought to add: "but should you need my help at any time, you can call my name aloud, and I'll hear."

"You'll hear? Any time?" Stark's face said "I smell that waste you're trying to put in my face" and that Loki wasn't getting away without an explanation. "How's that even work without any false alarms?"

"Magic is making your intent take form or action."

"Yeah, no, you're going to have to elaborate." Stark crossed his arms obstinately and propped his hips back against one of his workshop tables. "How do I know that not just any mention of your name is going to have you showing up in battle gear and making things awkward?"

"Because if you _want_ me here when you call my name, _that_ is the intent that allows me to hear your call then and not a time when you don't want for my company. _That_ is the magic."

“Keep going.” He pressed.

Annoyed, Loki huffed a breath through his nose and grimaced before continuing in as non-detailed but descriptive words as possible. “It’s the same difference between thinking of moving a finger and actually moving it. You’re still connected and aware of it; you may even flinch slightly by reflex if it weighs heavily on your mind, but until you send that definitive impulse through the pathways in your body, from mind to the object of your intent, your finger doesn’t move until you want it to or need it to. My shields do not appear until I consent to them appearing. My pocket dimensions only open when I wish to pull at the strings that close them. I only hear your call when you want me to hear.” 

"And if I use it to have you walk into a trap?"

"You wouldn't. You have more pride and respect for your opponents than that, and I utilize my ability to read the situation before I arrive in order to prevent what I might appear in the middle of so hastily. I won't be trapped."

"Huh. One more question: where and how can _I_ learn how to do that and any other magics I can lay my hands on for consumption? Because I _need_ to be able to do all that."

"Yeah, you really need magic to annoy and prank the holy hell out of people even more." Rhodes had thankfully and unintentionally distracted Stark from Loki's thinly masked shock.

"I didn't say learning magic would be good for _other_ people, but who the fuck cares? _I'll_ enjoy it." 

Different words but the same sentiment that Loki had said when he was a child begging his mother to teach her craft. Of course Loki had said it in prettier words to convince Frigga of it, not that it took much for her to agree to sharing her gift. They both had been so excited for Loki to learn it, and then... 

Loki stopped himself there and took a page from Stark's book: so long as Loki enjoyed his craft, others' opinions and biases should not color his passion. _If they were inclined to hate me from the start, what does it matter? Even before I knew what I was, I was set up to be either their villain or their puppet. I’m sick of feeling ashamed of who I am and what I like._

"Please let magic be difficult to learn." Rhodes pretended to plead of Loki. "I don't think the world could handle Tony Stark knowing magic."

"Like that will stop me."

"Magic is intensive and precise. It takes decades to master." Loki said with only mild discouragement, but Stark didn't seem repulsed by the task. 

"I'm not dead yet, what else am I going to do until my last day?" Stark paused and grinned a slight thing of amusement. "Did I grow a second head? Or a third eye?"

Loki shook himself from his staring. "What?"

"Because that's how you're looking at me."

"Oh. I-" He hesitated. "I wasn't expecting you to be quite so receptive as you are."

"What did you expect?"

"Rejection and attack, to be honest." 

Stark made that face again - disbelief and displeasure curled into a frown that wasn't directed at Loki but was caused by Loki's words. It still perplexed Loki. "And the world that made you expect these kinds of reactions, you're going back to? You're not secretly a masochist, are you?"

"I have work to do there. I've had warnings of returning threats, and I need to be there to receive and deal with them." 

"Between magically coming back here when I need you?"

"Even amoung duties, I have priorities." 

That, Stark looked far too pleased with. "I'm a priority?" He flashed a borderline flirtatious smirk, while Rhodes heaved a sigh in the background. 

_Want to tease, do you? Alright then..._

It felt like slipping on a familiar old skin when he turned his words over to a tone he hadn't used in quite some time and ages longer since he meant it. "Until I find a better one, I suppose." 

The playful frown was back, but so was Rhodes' chuckle of entertainment. 

"Fine, fine, go back to the bigoted space Vikings," Stark dismissed and jabbed a finger in Loki's direction, "but you're going to miss it here, and you know it."

"Oh, I won't deny that." The look of surprise on Stark's face was worth the slip of the tongue. "Call any time, Mr. Stark. The spell works the same if you simply want for the company." 

"Right." Was about all Stark managed before Loki tugged open the rift he'd created and returned to his private quarters on Asgard without another word. 

Where Loki promptly sunk back against the wall and put his face in his hands. It was only how unbelievable it was that convinced Loki he hadn’t dreamed just now.

Acceptance and lauding his skills... Would that he could, Loki would live it all over again. In some ways, he could, but they wouldn't be true, and Loki knew he would concoct a way to alter the projected memory to be even more false.

But he stared into his empty room on a realm that thought and most likely cheered for his death, and Loki found himself not truly caring for the truth laid out for him here.

A twist of his hand and the room filled with a thick fog that enveloped the air before gently coalescing into a now familiar workshop space and its two extra occupants standing across from Loki. 

"I'm a priority?" Stark said, same as he had before, and Loki followed the script. 

"Until I find a better one, I suppose." 

This time, Stark changed his words, but Loki let Stark's body language remain the same. "I could save you the time and come up with you. I'm sure you'll find a way to keep me occupied."

Guilt bit into Loki as soon as he allowed this new direction so soon after the real thing happened. As if the real Stark wasn't good enough, and Loki had to imagine his own version of the man. 

_I swear that's not it. I just need this. Just like this._

"I know just the thing to interest you." Loki said to his illusions regardless, using their favor like a crutch. He knew the dishonor in this, in borrowing the humans' images against their will, but he just... He needed the company that Asgard wasn't able to provide. Even Stark could not provide it entirely, and so Loki took solace in the one place he could trust to do as he liked: his magic. 

Unwise? Undoubtedly. But what other choice did Loki have?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes for where things fit into MCU Phase two - everything as is canon with a few named exceptions:
> 
> In **Iron Man 3** , Tony _doesn't_ execute the Clean Slate Protocol because I always thought that was one of the most idiotic things ever, and I could ramble on for ages about why.
> 
>  **Avengers: Age of Ultron** had changes of pretty much everything related to Natasha Romanoff.
> 
>  **Thor: The Dark World** had a few alterations with Loki's exact thoughts in regards to Tony and also changing that deleted fur cloak scene. Yes, I did write all of it out and have several small fic bits' worth of Thor 2 altered scenes. Check them in the series link below~ 
> 
>  
> 
> This fic has wormed its way into my writing priorities alongside FoaCA, so please be patient as I explore my way through and balance writing between friends, home, work, and family.


	2. This Is What It Sounds Like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ring ring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT'S THIS? FOUR DIFFERENT UPDATES TO FOUR DIFFERENT THINGS? IN TEN DAYS??? I SHOCK MYSELF. And because I will shamelessly self-promote, the lucky fics are  
> " **Between Beats** :" the extras for this fic is up to chapter three,  
> " **What You've Been Missing** :" a whole new oneshot fic with more angst,  
> " **Flip of a Coin Away** :" my long-running smut with plot and now feels is to chapter eleven,  
> and now this fic have all gotten shiny new chapters this week! 
> 
> Enjoy while I get back to work. ^^ 
> 
> Also, I hope you guys don't like feels because there certainly aren't any of those in this chapter.

Reality often dashed Loki’s hopes. He _hoped_ Stark would call even without an emergency, but reality informed him how truly unlikely that was. So what if Loki had offered his assistance and Stark had seemed open to it? The man was a good actor; feigning interest to save his own throat was not out of the realm of possibility after Loki made himself known and plainly said via demonstration that Stark’s defenses weren’t strong enough. That they weren't enough to repel Loki’s entrance without warning into the heart of Stark’s sanctum, and they were likely not enough for anyone else either. And what if Loki’s attempts to convey his intent was not received well or believed? Too many negative possibilities piling against Loki.

Perhaps approaching Stark in the first place was a bad idea.

Work in Asgard was exhaustive and distracting, and the silence from Midgard disparaging enough to help Loki resist looking in on details beyond fleeting peeks to assure himself of Stark's life. He was quite positive that his chances were well and truly gone.

Then he heard the call.

And was _almost_ as surprised by _who_ was calling as he was surprised that he was being called at all.

The range of theories that went through Loki's head ran wild at the sight of Stark's companion, Rhodes, calling Loki to a solitary room in Stark's tower while Stark himself was several floors away and apparently unaware of his friend's activities. Had something else come up? Did Rhodes no longer approve of Loki's claims? Was Rhodes a threat to Stark instead of a companion? Looking and observing provided few surely true answers; if Rhodes' intentions were cleaner than Loki thought, then ignoring Rhodes' call would reflect badly on Loki with Stark.

He had no choice - he had to go down and meet with Rhodes alone.

It was tempting to appear behind the human and observe him a moment longer, but Loki needed answers that watching alone wouldn't provide. He stepped forward through the created interrealm rift and into the direct eyeline of Rhodes and gave about the same look of skepticism and suspicion that Rhodes was affixing to Loki.

"After all this time, I expected no call at all, let alone one from you on your own. Keeping secrets from your friend?"

"Some things, Tony doesn't need to be around for. I want to make a few things very clear."

_He doesn't want you here. He's trying to lock you out. Don't let him keep you away._

_Yes, well, Stark hasn't been inviting you in in the first place, has he? Don't delude yourself, Loki. Stark is casting you out, only he won't do it himself._

_Pull yourself together. Don't show weakness. That was always your mistake. They call you a god, now act it._

"Clarify then. But tread carefully. I make no promises as to what I will accept."

Rhodes set his jaw and squared his shoulders, accepting the threat but not backing down from it. "We - we not including you - are in a delicate place; Tony is low on reliable people. While we have allies right now, I don't trust them to not change their mind. Captain Rogers has a hell of a rallying cry, after all."

"I know the type well. I lived and tolerated Thor for centuries of the same. Few are immune."

"Right." Rhodes seemed mildly happier for a moment at that tiny bit of understanding, but he turned grim again far too soon. "That's why I want to know that you're not going to fuck him over or use him. He's had enough of that. And you can plead understanding a similar past all you want, but we have no reason to trust that you're actually right. The same as I think and trust that Thor's observations and point of view were fair. You're known for lying, and Thor is the alien equivalent of jock playing at being reformed into humility. He's so biased, I doubt he even remembers yesterday the way it really was. I don't trust either of you."

Loki felt as though his chest was gaping open and spilling out his innards. No acceptance from Rhodes equaled little chance of acceptance from Stark. If Rhodes was saying all this to Loki's face, the thought of how much more he likely said and reasoned to Stark with now made Loki's stomach churn with despair.

_Don't show weakness. Do not show weakness._

"I'm sorry you feel so distrusting. My apologies for presenting so fluidly instead of solid. I do invite you to keep looking for an ally as dependable as a mountain for your side, but I don't think you'll soon find anyone like that. I also don't see how that affects my actions as I have already stated them to be."

"What I want to make clear is that if you try to destroy or harm Tony Stark, _I_ will execute some _accountability_ onto your ass."

"Oh, a threat. I see." Loki brushed off, then cringed internally at himself. _Antagonizing Rhodes will separate you further from Stark. Say something else better than that._ Nicer _than that._ "Your concern and protection of your friend is admirable, Mr. Rhodes, but if you would not trust any of my words, how can I swear my good intentions? Actions speak louder, and my loudest actions have been admittedly damaging to my reputation for good. However, the same can be said for Tony Stark. If he had never been allowed the chance to act upon better ideals, then would he not be viewed just as vilely as I am by many? As an uncaring murderer, unrepentant of the lives he's ruined and destroyed? Actions speak louder, Mr. Rhodes, but one must be given the chance to do something more in order to become something more. Treat a man as a villain, he'll live his life and die a death as nothing more."

"So you're promising nothing then?" Rhodes snapped, but Loki returned.

"I'm asking what you would have me do. If nothing I say is good enough, then what will be? What oath must I swear before my desires to help for the better will be trusted? How long must I bear your scrutiny and disapproval before I'm allowed out from under your scrying glass?"

Rhodes had his arms crossed over his chest as he considered. "Is that a legitimate question?"

"What else do you want from me?" Frustration prickled along his spine as Loki held back the angry huff of breath that so wanted to escape and knock Rhodes' shields down so that he would just _say what he wanted to know._

Instead, he took up pacing that he forced slower, a step towards Rhodes that was regarded with a suspicious look as Rhodes stood his ground, so Loki pivoted and stepped sideways instead. "What will it take to convince you I mean to provide Stark with nothing but protection from harm? I know what it's like to be in his place. To argue for responsibility and forethought or even something _resembling_ sympathy or consideration for what is being destroyed at the hands of our friends and family, only to have them laugh us away and claim we're being too serious or too restrictive. I know what it's like to bear the brunt of the blame anyway because we're so quick acknowledge blame is to be had. But perfect icons of strength and valor won't bear the weight of their transgressions. Because justice and the fight for peace is worth any price. Even the price of souls not their own. I have seen this fight for centuries, seen its repeat over and over again, and I will not allow it again. I can't let another man like Stark add this guilt to his already long list of burdens. Men like us have sat back and taken enough."

Taking a chance with the forced blank look that Rhodes was giving him, Loki jutted his chin up and let all his obstinance and resolution to show in an imperious stare. "So will you accept that I'm trying to help your friend or not?" He very carefully didn't ask for permission; this was not a permissible act, this was Loki declaring his stance. Rhodes could accept it or he couldn't. If neither Rhodes nor Stark accepted the suit, then it would undoubtedly hurt more than Loki would ever admit aloud, but it wouldn't stop him from keeping an eye on Stark. He would just have to do it more cautiously.

"Basically, you're telling me to suck it up and deal with it."

Loki wasn’t positive what that meant, but he had a good guess. "I'm questioning the point of interrogating me when any answer except the worst is beyond the realm of belief. You've created your own paradox."

"I think I'm honestly more worried about how similar you are to Tony than I am worried that you want to hurt him. Not sure what that says about any of the three of us."

"Perhaps that we're all doomed in our judgment."

The man looked amused despite his disapproval of his own reaction. "We get it right on occasion."

Before Loki could respond, he heard a ringing he had worried would never become familiar. "Um."

Rhodes' eyes narrowed. "What?"

"Did you tell Stark you were speaking to me privately?"

"No..."

Loki forced casualness into his shrug and glanced to the ceiling. "Well, that would explain why he's calling me now."

"What?!" Rhodes' face twisted in upset. "I told him not to call you when he was alone! I told him you were too dangerous to talk to without back up, even if you were being honest before."

It explained the wait at least; if Rhodes was advising Stark to not contact Loki, then no wonder. Still. It was flattering that both humans were making it such a point to not forget that Loki wasn't a run of the mill criminal. They were so keen to acknowledge his threat that they couldn't allow themselves to consider the benefit of turning the threat to their opponents. Rhodes was so keen to convince Stark into keeping to the silence agreement, and yet...

"Not while alone, you insisted?" He questioned. "Truly?" Loki caught Rhodes' eye again and then gestured to himself - present and alone in Rhodes' company. Rhodes just sighed.

"Fine. Go answer him. I'll be down in a minute. Tell him I said you had gummy bears in your pockets."

"Excuse me?"

"It's phrase he and I agreed on for communicating between proxies. Means you're clear and safe enough. Even if you're creepy."

"How charming." Loki teleported down the couple floors to Stark's workshop, and the inventor grinned at the first sight of Loki. The gurgle of warmth at the welcome look in Stark's face, Loki had to quickly quash down.

"So you _weren't_ just shittin' me on the magic phone thing."

"Why would I?"

"I don't know; you're a trickster. Not like I know what to expect from you." He tilted his head, eyes narrowed slightly. "You or magic, actually. All a big puzzling mystery," he jutted a finger at Loki, "and I'm going to figure both of you out."

Every time Stark opened his mouth, Loki knew most of the words and so rarely was sure of the meaning. Misinterpretation was the only explanation, but what else would Stark mean but what he said? Loki brushed that off too, for all he wished it meant something better.

"Was there something you needed me for now or was it your mere whim that wished me here?"

Stark's face remained deliberately forced to impassivity, but he couldn't hide the wicked look he got in his eyes that Loki's heart nearly skipped to behold. "I wanted to test if you meant that whole 'priority' thing."

"And it's testing my patience." As pleased as Loki was to be called into Stark's presence again, to receive those almost conspiratorial looks like Loki was a part of Stark's secret inner circle...

What was he thinking again? Oh, yes, things beyond Stark's favor.

Unfortunately, Stark couldn't be the only thing Loki had to focus on. Parts of Asgard were more resistant to change in action even if they claimed compliance, and Loki had much to do to strengthen her and the other realms for the threat that approached them. As blissful as a life would be with Stark at Loki's side for the realms to see, it was not a possible reality in the near future. Not when Loki had to hide who he was to make any progress on Asgard.

"Okay, I confess." Stark threw up his hands in the air and finally allowed a smile again. "Friday is a tattletale. Told me we had an extra visitor that didn't use the front door, back door, or any other door, window, hatch, or secret entrance. And I only know one person that can do that."

"Rhodes said to tell you something." Not that Loki particularly _wanted_ to say so ludicrous sounding a phrase.

"Oh?" Surprise and curiosity filled Stark.

Damn. Stark's expressions were far too enticing to not answer and learn a new reaction in Stark's seemingly endless range. Even if Loki had to sacrifice his dignity this time...

"He said to say something about... gummy bears."

The corner of Stark's mouth twitched up. "What about gummy bears?"

"That..." Loki sighed, grimacing further at the look in Stark's face that said he knew damn well what the phrase was but wasn't going to allow Loki any mercy. _Damn both of us._ "That I have gummy bears in my pocket."

Stark's laugh bust out of him like hot water as he curled over at the waist and chuckled as he slapped his leg, not hiding a single ounce of his entertainment at Loki's unfortunate lot. The sight and sounds were another delightful vision to add to Loki's growing collection filed away in his memories for later, but it was tainted in that the laughter was at Loki's expense. It usually was. "Oh, god, I'm sorry," Stark managed between coughing laughs, "I really don't mean to laugh at you, but that code phrase was never meant to be something you said. It is _amazing_ that you did though."

By the time he finally managed to get control of his giggling - and it was honest to the Norns _giggles_ \- Rhodes was just making his way down the stairs. "Rhodey, that was the best one yet. Oh my god. You're still in trouble, and I know what you did, but that was beautiful." Stark was the only one smiling when he straightened again - Rhodes the definition of inscrutable and Loki trying for the same. "Seriously though, honey bear, I'm rubbing off on you too much if you made a rule to break the rule. That's just fucking rude."

"I wanted to ask him something without you around."

"I have spent weeks wanting to call him up and asking you to be around for it if that would make you cool with it, and you kept saying no." Loki stayed rooted in place as Stark walked nearer and slapped Loki on the shoulder. "You're fantastic and a saint for putting up with it, Mad Max, but seriously, Rhodey, not cool."

The pair continued, but Loki got himself stuck on the brief touch and " _weeks wanting to call_ " like the desperate hound for acceptance that he was. His attention stuttered to a halt and ran away from him to mental fantasies of Stark calling him earlier, of more time spent charming and working in closer and more intimate quarters until-

_Focus, damn you, Loki._

"-in agreement to-" Rhodes had been in the middle of before Stark interrupted.

"And you broke the agreement first, so how about I don't expect any apologies or repentance from you, and you don't ask any of me?" Stark compromised. "We both broke it anyway, and Loki's here now, so how about we just drop the criminal charges between us and get to business?"

"There was business to discuss?" Loki asked, still not entirely positive there was a coherent plan between the two humans, but Stark seemed to have something in mind.

"Kind of. The thing with Steve I mentioned? Not getting any better. I'm not counting my chicks here, but I'm noting standings on either side. I tried to tell him it's not what he thinks- okay, actually, the Accords are exactly what he thinks, but my signing them isn't, and his fighting them is not going to go well for anyone. But _noooo_ , he's Captain Goddamn America, and he won't compromise for one goddamn minute."

All the mirth from moments' ago code phrase fiasco had left Stark for frustration and anger. He held such desperation to prevent the outcome that all in the room knew was going to happen, but no one was going to say it. No one liked saying the word anymore. That all involved used to fight on the same side only made the situation all the more bitter. There would be no winning side in this conflict.

"And what are you going to do about it?" Loki asked.

Stark frowned at the question. "What do you mean?"

"Someone is going to do something about the Captain's noncompliance. More than one _someone_ and unlikely to be a kind _something_. So what are _you_ going to do?"

"Well, I can't ignore it."

"Can't you?"

"No, I can't." Stark insisted testily. "I have to keep them from getting killed, but I can't let it look like I'm protecting them. Shit." He scrubbed a hand through his hair and turned on his heel. "I'm going to look like the bad guy again, aren't I? While Captain Spandex fights for _freedom_ and attacks us for telling him to clean up the latest thing he bashed a hole in because he didn't like it."

"He fights for responsibility of protecting the world, but under his own means and methods of doing so. Not all governing bodies are benevolent, but they're in place for a reason. Freedom and liberty are similar aspects, but running unchecked and unpinnable is another. Saying one feels guilty for the destruction is not enough."

"You have to step up and do something to fix it, exactly, that's what I've been trying for eight goddamn years, and I just-" Stark sighed. "He's only listening to my words, not what I'm trying to tell him. The Accords aren't optimal, but not signing them is going to be much worse. _Much worse_. But Captain America stands up against injustice." He slumped onto a stool, but didn't lose his posture. "And I'm going to be the villain in the story."

Unbidden, a tiny voice in Loki's head asked just how he was going to be accepted as good if Stark was considered bad, but Loki dismissed it without a thought as soon as it was vaguely acknowledged.

Stark continued: "People are going to see us fighting, hear his side, and they're going to turn against me. I'm only their chosen poster boy when they want a scandal. It's the choice between a futurist getting my hands dirty in every single way I think is going to get them clean, and the classic American dream. It doesn't matter if it feasible, people are always going to choose the dream."

"Perhaps not." Loki tried, much as he knew his comfort wouldn't be worth much to Stark. "Perhaps the Captain's stubbornness against his own friends and comrades on such a public forum will be his undoing."

A scoff was Stark's first automatic response, but pessimistic though Loki felt in regards to any reactions his words garnered, he had the feeling such derision was not truly aimed at Loki personally. "He's an icon. It's not going to be easy."

"Illusions always break. Even statues degrade with time and stress. He is no different and no exemption."

"And you can't keep beating yourself up about what other people _might_ think." Rhodes scolded mildly. "That's certainly not what Loki came down here to hear, I'm sure."

"Right." Stark frowned, dejected and desolute for a moment before he visibly shifted to pull on a whole body suit of an act. And Loki thought that his own masks were talented... this man pretended his insecurities away and faked being alright with his entire self.

 _Oh, Stark, for how long and how often have those words been said in much harsher ways to you?_ Too often, surely. Rhodes' current direction was to put them on track and steer Stark off of what was seeming to be a dark road to traverse; his attempts to get Stark off of it were well-intended. Undoubtedly, Stark had heard those words at any sign of unwanted emotion and vulnerability though. Not to help him away from dark thoughts, but to harden his skin and force on something considered better presentable. _How I would go back in time to cut them down for you if I could. Better yet, I'll offer you the knife._

"Anyway." Stark diverted. "There's better things to discuss than Steve Rogers."

"Was there something else here you wanted me present for?"

"Oh, you know, to discuss the things." He covered poorly.

Loki's narrowed eyes and smirk of amusement seemed to convey his belief of the excuse well enough for Stark to sigh in defeat.

"Fine, I didn't have a real reason. S'why Rhodey wouldn't let me call until I did it anyway. Because 'to say hi to my badass new ally' is apparently invalid."

"Excuse me?" Even Loki's wildest dreams had limits, and there was no believable possibility for Stark to like Loki so much as to just call him because of little to no reason.

"Well, you did kind of rush out pretty fast last time too. Before I got answers on a few things."

Ah. That was closer in the realm of understanding. Stark wanted answers; Loki likely had them. It was an obvious conclusion. "Then ask, and I might ease your curiosity on the matter."

"I get the calling you now. I call, Rhodey calls, you hear your name, and check in. What if we _don't_ call but still need your help?"

"How does anything else aside from calling you work?" Rhodey added. "We're looking for some more specific parameters to work within."

"You needn't work any differently. Consider me an associate, not a team member. I don't play with teams anymore."

Stark made a strange face at that and persisted: "Then tell us what your association means. Fight with us only when we desperately need it? Pop down for movie night? Hang around and talk strategy? Watch me through the window? Gonna need details here, Lokes."

"Would you ask so many questions of a river? Where it will flow, how it will flow? How many raindrops will fill it and what it will do with each one?"

"Yes. I would."

Persistent. Unyielding. In need of support. How did Stark manage to stay both similar to and everything opposite of the man Loki met and heard of so long ago? He was no longer widely favored, he would no longer be a friend of Thor's, his own friends fractured and separated... Stark had become isolated and untrusting, and perhaps that wasn't as new an occurrence as Loki first thought. Maybe now was just when Stark was having so much trouble hiding it. Hiding that or the dark bags under his eyes and tilt of his shoulders that was forced pride keeping him upright only barely. The tired, stressed slump of him was starting to weigh.

Pride. Far too much pride to show his weakness for long. He was trying so hard, and still it leaked out in words and stressed mannerisms and tics. The weary out loud admittances ( _"I'm going to be the villain in this story... they're going to turn against me... people always choose the dream."_ ) and restless fidgeting that only ceased when he was too tired to direct his energy into expelling it with purposeful vellication. Each tic was enough evidence if only people could see. If only _Loki_ had seen earlier.

Armor of metal and earth magics didn't protect against everything; Stark was worried, even scared of what was coming, so sure he knew how it would turn out even when he knew so little details. Loki couldn't do much to comfort him of the Captain's actions, but Loki could make motions to assure Stark of what he could.

"Alright then, Mr. Stark. What do you want of our partnership? What will ease your mind to know is covered?"

The shock was enough to even wipe the exhaustion from Stark's face for a few moments. He glanced to his friend, who only nodded back to Loki pointedly, and Stark's wide-eyed gaze tracked back to the god. "You're asking what _I_ want from this?"

"Should I re-phrase to make it clearer?"

"Nope. Just kind of wasn't expecting that response."

Did they truly think so little of Loki? That boded well. "Mr. Rhodes? Any requests from you?"

"How about giving us an idea of why you're playing dead with two worlds?"

"Not two worlds, all realms. Because if Thor even suspected that I was alive, he would hunt me down. And I can't help you if Thor is after me now, can I? There's much to do that cannot be done if I were being pursued."

"Thor went back to Asgard months ago," Stark said, "said he was checking on things."

"Yes, he is. I've been keeping a close eye on his comings and goings, but he has not made his presence known to the king yet. Perhaps he thought being released once was as much leniency as he would ever receive in this lifetime from Odin."

"Uh-huh. And I'm guessing it wasn't even Odin that granted that. Wasn't it?"

"I said I had duties on Asgard."

"Uh-huh." Repeated with just as much an air of being convinced as before. "And if Thor figures it out and comes to not-Odin to check you out?"

"Then I don't suppose I could kill him in the name of the king now, could I?"

"You could hang here."

Was anything predictable about Stark? Was anyhing Loki thought of him true? "I wouldn't have thought I would be welcome to spend extended times in your home."

"What, so you can spy on my wellbeing but being invited to borrow a room in my 90 floor tower is too much?"

"We're not _friends_ ," he found himself defending, only to wonder why he chose that.

"So?" From welcoming to irate, Loki had a way of drawing all the expressions from Stark, it seemed. "That mean I'm supposed to treat you like shit? Jesus Christ, Loki, it was an offer to have your back. Take it or don't."

"No, I- thank you. I'm... not accustomed to being presented with generosity. You can imagine that I don't inspire it in many people or at all."

"Pretty sure that's got shit to do with you and all to do with them."

Biting back the natural but self-deprecating remark that was tempted to be his response wasn't easy, but Loki could easily tell by now that it would only end in Stark's attempts to disprove or console Loki in Stark's own off-kilter methods of doing so. To be frank, Loki could only stand so much of it. Engaging with Stark left Loki feeling strung out and unsure of certainties anymore, questioning everything, and re-sorting his priorities accordingly. He felt unstable enough as it was, but even in the wake of Stark uprooting Loki's remaining beliefs into a tumult, somehow, the mortal still remained Loki's sole anchor to himself. It was unwise to allow, but Loki had nowhere and no one else to take such a mantle. Stark had an idea of who Loki was, knew only a fraction of the horrible acts he'd commented, and yet seemed to have faith in what Loki _could_ be beyond that. And Loki clung so desperately to the latter.

The question wouldn't hold itself in: "Why did you let me in?" Loki asked.

He was given that look like he was repeating himself. Perhaps he was, but Loki still didn't understand.

"Well, you phrased it like you weren't giving me a choice about it."

"No, that's not a reason; that's an excuse. You could have called your remaining allies and told them of what I claimed, warned them, but you accepted and kept silent. Why?" He glanced to Rhodes, waiting for the man to say something of his own explanation, but Rhodes was too busy watching Loki quietly.

Was it lucky or unlucky that Stark did not share his friend's laconic nature? For all Stark answered, it did not explain or soothe much of Loki's curiosity, only seemed to add to it.

"I guess you just didn't feel like one of the ones to fight." Stark's even more perplexing answer came. "Look, Loki, I'm a reckless asshole that flies by the seat of my pants and follows what feels right. Sometimes my brain agrees with what the rest of me feels, other times, logic doesn't match up, but I still go with my heart and my gut. This time? You came in saying you knew what it was like, that you wanted to help, and I didn't have to beg, lie, or cheat to gain anything from you? That _being me_ was enough? Call me crazy, but even when I was questioning whether you were honest or not, I wasn't questioning whether I wanted your help. Have I mentioned enough the part about you being interesting and kind of really fuck off powerful? Pretty awesome ally material there?"

"So you accept my help because I was - I _am_ who I am? As if it's valuable and trustworthy enough?" Should it not be the opposite? To know Loki and therefore to not trust him?

"Interesting. You're endlessly interesting. I like puzzles, and you're the masterpiece to untangle. So." He crossed his arms. "Are you going to accept _my_ acceptance, or did you come here looking for rejection?"

The instinct to physically recoil from that remark was difficult to contain, but Loki suppressed it to a minute flinch. It was a ludicrous attack upon him to say such a thing. Why would Loki seek out rejection? Hadn't he had enough? Hadn't everything and everyone rejected him _except_ for Stark? Why would he seek to break his last fantasy of a place to be himself? What else would he have left then if-

Oh. _Oh, Loki, what have you walked yourself into now? How far does your self-sabotage go?_

And what would he do now with one last string keeping him holding on?

Lie, lie, lie until he could figure out and deal with the truth himself.

"You cannot fault me for being incredulous. I can want for something and still not believe it when I get it so easily. I don't seek out rejection; I just don't _trust_ /."

"None of us like trusting much lately. But we should trust you, right? So what's it going to take for you to trust us?"

Questions and questions and questions, and Loki hardly had the answers for any of them. He couldn't consistently answer _his own_ questions, let alone the plethora that Stark sought. Loki couldn't answer everything at the moment of their posing, and he couldn't stay here. He couldn’t figure this out in front of Stark's perceptive eye. He needed to leave. _Now._

"This is not the best time to chat." He excused, feeble even to his own ears. "I should go." Loki backed away, unable to hide the trembling clench of his hands as he tore open a rift and aimed to leave before he showed a part of himself he had no want of anyone to know. But before Loki could escape, both Rhodes and Stark called after him, Stark with a "Loki, don't go!" and Rhodes' "No, wait!" overlapping and urgent enough to give Loki pause. He itched to ignore them, but his hesitance was enough for Stark to reach him and get a hand on his shoulder that wasn't just a passing brush this time. Stark clutched at the curve of Loki's armor but didn't force him to turn, just held firm enough to keep him from leaving without resistance. He was sure his tension could be felt even through the multiple layers of garb. If that wasn't enough, the set of his jaw and his narrowed eyes as he twisted at the waist to face Stark should have been enough. Still, Stark stood steady.

"And what possesses you to keep me now? Remember I have a realm to run."

"Then don't." Was repeated and Loki sighed and snapped the invisible rift shut again, pivoting fully towards the two humans.

"I cannot always heed your every beck and call. I have duties elsewhere."

"I don't know what exactly they're doing to you up there," Rhodes spoke up, "but have you considered whether it's actually worth it or not?"

"They're not doing anything other than being loyal to who they think is their king."

"And before that? How they were treating you? Was that worth it?"

"What's done has been done."

"Then fucking _undo it._ " Stark hissed with such vehemence that Loki nearly sneered something unpleasant back. "Why stay?"

"I have to."

"No, you really don't. You always think you do, we all do, but we don't have to every time. You're self-destructing -even _I_ can see that." He jutted his chin up. "You want to know what I want out of the deal? What I want you to do for our partnership? _Live long enough to keep it._ And don't keep pretending that hollowing yourself out is okay. It's not. You're nothing if everything you are is for someone else."

This time, his hands balled into fists for an entirely different reason. "And just _leaving them_ is _not_ an option."

Stark crossed his arms and frowned like he was ready to argue, but Loki didn't let him.

"What they did or didn't do to me, how a selection of bastards affected me, does not allow me to abandon an entire _realm_ of people that need a monarch. The universe is larger than your tiny planet, and I'm trying to keep the part I can from falling into disarray."

"So you're going to put the burden of _worlds_ on your shoulders?"

"If it takes working under the guise of Odin to arrange for the worlds to work together, then so be it. Who else would take the throne? Thor has abandoned it, the queen is dead, and I would sooner destroy Asgard than let Odin take her into his twisted grip again. So yes, I am sacrificing much of myself for Asgard and for the realms, giving my time and parts of my soul to see to their care, and I do it so that they can each come to care for themselves and cooperate within and between each other when it's needed. It _will_ / be needed, and I would not see the good people of any world be wiped out with the rest simply because no one wants to /take the burden/ of arranging their wholes into agreement."

Neither mortal seemed particularly pleased with his response - Stark especially looked ready to get into a truly heated argument - but nor did they have a real platform to disagree with Loki since there _wasn't_ much choice in the matter.

"You say you've got all these big plots up there," Stark tried to shift topics, "when did you get the time to look in on me enough that you could see what was coming and offer your _magnanimous_ assistance?"

"I told you: curiosity led me."

"Did it lead you to any of my friends or just me?"

Too perceptive indeed. But Loki could not show his hand; he had to evade the full truth. "Your friends couldn't hold my interest."

"What got you to look at me?" Stark's voice was raising and Loki's agitation building. Loki's fingers contracted in spasms too quick and harried to even clench with much strength to them, and still Stark pushed. They wouldn't just _let him leave_ "What got you to keep looking back?"

"I was worried!"

Stark froze, eyes wide and mouth clapped shut.

"Does that concern you?" Nerves controlled Loki's voice now, the closest to rejection Stark would likely give but more than enough to have its effect on Loki. "I looked, and I saw what the world was doing, the things you hid from even those you held dear, I saw it all in the fragments of your life that I peered into. And I was _worried_ for you." Only now did he calm ever slightly in the silence he was faced with, but his heart pounded harder like a fist to his ribs, _beat, **beat, beat**_ to the level of an exhausting ache. He had gone too far now, and he had to finish.

"I have felt the signs of self-destruction to know them on sight, and I have seen the clues of betrayal so plentifully as to be familiar. Call it charmed, if you'd like, but I was impressed enough with our first meeting that I had no want to see a man like you destroyed." _I had no want to see you end up like me_ filled in between the lines in his head but were kept from his tongue. "I wanted to see more of what you could do, if only there weren't roadblocks in your path. I wanted to know what a second meeting would yield when a first conversation left such a lasting impact on my perception. Obviously, _this_ was not what I wanted in a second or third meeting, but here we stand."

All of Stark's loquaciousness seemed to have drained out of him, and left him staring back at Loki with something akin to mounting horror and confusion. It was, unfortunately, not an unfamiliar sight to Loki either. The only thing it was good for was being the opening for Loki leaving again.

"I believe I have overstayed my welcome. Think on what you would like in this partnership, Mr. Stark, and please think carefully. And when you've figured it out, _if_ you wish to continue, you know how to contact me." Pulling at the rift again, Loki didn't allow them the chance to argue it. "I hope that next time, we can end our meeting with far more satisfaction. Until we can, I bid you better luck than you've had." And he turned on his heel and stepped straight through into his still empty chambers on Asgard.

Perhaps he needed to reassess his real experience with Stark in comparison to the fantasies Loki had concocted of him. He needed to set in stone that Stark was obviously not interested in any sort of _more_ with Loki beyond the semi-alliance that was already offered. If Stark even wanted _that_ anymore.

No, Loki had his doubts about any return summons from Stark at all. Beyond true desperation, Loki wasn't counting on it. The thought still left his chest feeling carved out, but now he questioned what it was that he thought he could fill the space with. Did he feel for Stark as he thought he did? Could he love a man that he didn't know? Love a man that was a fictitious version in the first place?

Well. At least the time apart from his previously hopeful paramour might give Loki a chance to question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten points to any and all readers that can guess what movie Rhodey and Tony's code phrase is a reference to~
> 
> To those of you that missed the random appearance, this is now a series! Just click the little series link down at the bottom to find your way to "Between Beats" the edited collection of extras, featuring the alternate scenes for Thor 2 that I mentioned in the previous chapter's AN.


	3. But Oh, My Heart Was Flawed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We share our secrets when it's safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So while reading over the previous two chapters as an attempt to get myself back into the 'verse, I came to realize that that shit needs some serious fixing. How did y'all get through that first chapter?! IT'S GOING TO BE FIXED. 
> 
> Also, now that I've seen Civil War and raged internally enough, I managed to finish this third chapter, but I am going to be going back and altering a good bit of the first two while in the midst of setting down a solid plot with better knowledge of canon. And by "better knowledge of canon," I mean I know how much shit I'm going to rip apart and make better with vague allusions to canon on the few parts that were acceptable enough. Until then, enjoy a shiny new chapter~

The period apart from Stark served Loki well this time. Despite how preoccupied he was kept by his work on Asgard, Loki still found time for his thoughts to run wild and question. To his mortification, he discovered even more flaws in his behavior and feelings than he anticipated.

He had figured out his first mistake not long after meeting Stark again, but it was just now sinking in what he'd done wrong. Stark was not the man Loki had built an image of so many times. And he was not the man Loki claimed to love. Loki had known for weeks that Stark was different from Loki's memory, but now he had to finally accept what that meant. His illusions were truly and simply dreams of someone that didn't exist. How could he love what he could not touch? How could he love someone that he never actually knew in the slightest? He couldn't. And wouldn't. Not with the real Stark before him.

Coming to that conclusion only led to further scrutiny of himself. Namely that it was seeming possible that Loki never really loved _Stark_ all this time. Loki loved the _idea_ of Tony Stark. Of the acceptance Stark's presence would bring. Of the jealousy from others that Loki would have a charming man at his side, unafraid to claim Loki as his and have Loki claim Stark in return, but it was nothing more than a fanciful dream. Loki had to accept and live realities. Real possibilities. Because Stark _was_ real and in front of Loki. Because Stark was not what Loki thought and dreamed, but he was still magnetic. Still so very similar to Loki. Perhaps with Loki's revelations of himself, he could learn the value of having the true Stark as a companion. They both were in such sore need of friends. They both were in sore need of understanding.

Loki only hoped his ham-handed manner in the past couple of meetings had not irreparably harmed his chances. He just had to hope that Stark or Rhodes would call again at a time when they were willing to listen.

Timing could not always be convenient, unfortunately, and Loki could not answer every call with the immediacy that he would like. His diplomatic maneuvers were reaching a critical juncture, and his appointed ambassadors between realms could only handle so much. Loki excused himself for but a moment under the reason of checking a personal spell of his that had been tripped - he at least had the luck that it was the elves he was consulting with today, and so they understood - but he still could only briefly check on Stark’s well-being before returning to his duties as king. It might earn Stark's ire, but Loki could not risk insulting and threatening the ability to unite the realms as one force. They _had_ to unify their fronts. No one would survive otherwise.

Still. Stark called intermittently another _three_ times in the time it took Loki and the elves to wrap their negotiations and addendums up for the day and return home to consider the different options that were proposed and/or rejected by either side. By the time Loki followed the call, hours had passed, and Stark was back to his work. Only now he seemed restless in aborted fidgeting as he moved around his worktables.

As soon as he saw Loki’s reflection behind him in the glass screen that hung suspended in front of Stark's face, the mortal spun on his heel, marched over to Loki, and grabbed his shoulders like he was checking a child for injuries.

"There you are! Jesus, I was starting to think that _you_ might be the one needing to call someone."

"Worrying about me?" Surprised though he was still, Loki fell a little into the ease and relief of standing in his real skin before someone that seemed genuinely wanting of his company.

"Well, you certainly give me plenty to worry about." Stark said, and Loki thought he could hear more in those words than Stark was first implying. "Everything copacetic up there?"

"Just talks with visiting foreign leaders. I could only step away long enough to ensure your safety was not at risk before I had to return to my duties."

"Priorities." Loki nodded to the statement. "Right. Well, I guess I can't always be at the top."

"Bear in mind I did still interrupt proceedings to check on you if that soothes your ego."

Stark did let out a shortly amused laugh at that. "Oddly, it does."

"Did you only ask me here to check on Asgard's well-being, Mr. Stark?"

"No." He shifted uncomfortably, "uh, no, I had a question. A few related questions."

 _That_ boded well. "Yes? I cannot answer the unspoken questions in your head."

"You've said some things with... implications that I'm curious about."

"You'll have to narrow it down further for me, Mr. Stark."

"Flirting."

"Ah."

"Yeah." Stark shifted again when Loki said nothing. "So was I just reading into it wrong or were you implying something?"

"Yes." Loki answered, then sighed and opted for honesty this time. "And no. I have meant every word I said. That you could call for my company, that I was worried about you, that there was something that connected us, but the feeling behind that..." Loki stepped around Stark slowly and took a seat on a nearby stool. Stark's eyes followed, but he didn't move more than turning to keep Loki in sight. "My jail was no easy sentence. There were no beatings, no foul words spat at me from the guards, no one touched me, but... the isolation ate at me. To survive, I had to cling to whatever thoughts served to keep me alive. I had to hope there was more that awaited me."

"Hope of... love?" Stark asked cautiously, and while Loki didn't see distaste in Stark's expression, there was a bit of confusion. It didn’t exactly feel _good_ to see, but it hurt less than it would have had Loki still been under his own illusions of stronger feelings.

"Hope for a chance of acceptance and love outside of a place that had led me to nothing but cages in one form or another. My thoughts latched onto things they shouldn't have and fashioned a man who already had caught my interest and treated me peculiarly but in a way that held not even a fraction of the animosity and disappointment that my own so-called family regards me with."

"'Fashioned you a man...'" Stark picked out with such ease that Loki felt a warm bloom of affection for the man regardless of Loki's change of heart. "So you're saying you thought of me, but not of me?"

"Of a fantasy of a perfect man that brought with him everything I craved."

"Like a sexy, intelligent, mortal inventor?" Thankfully, Stark was seeming to understand a bit now, and there was humour in his eyes.

Loki smiled. "Exactly like."

"So you _were_ flirting then?"

"I've now realized my error in that I cannot truly love someone I do not know. And given that, that perhaps my initial infatuation ran more towards a time and place that included you more than you personally. My ideas were based off a few spare moments and the reports of others, and we both know that that is hardly accurate." 

"So you were flirting then?" Stark questioned again, not letting it go without a solid answer.

"I was. Then. I've had time to reflect since and correct myself."

"And the whole... connection thing? That was exaggerated?"

Of all the time for Stark to suddenly become unreadable... Damn. Well, honesty had been working for him here, shockingly, so perhaps he better continue. "That part... less so. I still believe us kindred, but that does not have to mean more. Would you not consider yourself and Mr. Rhodes two similar souls?"

Stark pulled his own lower lip until his mouth to worry it over between his teeth, only to release it with a pop as he fidgeted away.

"The villain isn't supposed to be right?" Loki guessed, and Stark suddenly looked oddly offended when he turned back sharply.

"Why keep calling yourself a villain when you're trying to do good things?"

Still fighting that... Stark's obstinance couldn't always be endearing, Loki supposed. "It is their word, not mine. I would hardly consider myself a hero either, and for all I am trying to help the worlds, I have to do it under another's face so that the people can live in peace thinking that I am dead."

He scowled and his jaw jutted out to the side as he shifted around in frustration. "You're going to attribute your good deeds to someone that ruined more than you ever did on purpose, and then you're just going to let them keep saying you've done everything wrong?"

"Any good deeds attached to my name will not be considered good. You already know it would be that way here, but on Asgard, it is even worse - a thousand years of associating me with nothing but tricks and lies. I cannot risk my goals by trying to putting my name on them simply to gain myself better favor. It is better they think me dead."

Stark scoffed and turned his back to Loki to pace. "Why the hell did you tell me then?"

"To live the rest of my life as someone else constantly would kill me, and I wanted to trust someone to know. Somewhere I could show my face and not pretend."

All the anger flowed out of Stark with a physical slump of his shoulders. "Why do you have to make it so hard to stay mad?"

"Now who's sounding like a lover more than an acquaintance?"

He sighed out a tired but amused sound and dragged a stool over to beside Loki, perching himself up by the god. Stark didn't look at him, just sat with their shoulders a hand's width apart as he took another deep breath in and out. "I told the others on my side that I had another ally." He said into the silence, and Loki whipped his head around far too quickly. Stark was slow in looking back, but he didn't look concerned. "I didn't say it was you. And I'm not so sure they even believed me since I refused to say a name."

"Why mention me at all?"

"Because I wanted to boast about someone else outside the team choosing my side. Because I think even most of the people aside from Rogers, Rhodey, and I are questioning who they really want to follow. They wouldn't fight at all if they could. _I_ wouldn't fight if I could avoid it."

"No one said any of you have to."

"No one had to say it. It's just assumed. We all assume things without people asking us, don't we?" He gave Loki a significant look, but Loki just rolled his eyes.

"You press with all the subtlety of a battering ram."

"I like to be upfront." Tony grinned, and Loki found himself doing the same.

"So I'm learning."

"And being annoyed by?"

"Not yet."

Stark's head cocked to the side, surprised at the response, but more interested than dumbfounded. Rather than ask though, he ducked his head for a moment and changed the subject when he looked back up. "How's it going in Oz?"

Asgard, Loki assumed. Seemed the trick to talking with Stark was always to read between the lines and make leaps in what he was referring to with a new name this time. "Better, actually." And despite logic advising him against it, Loki merely _wanted_ to share. For once, honesty would be a relief when he could simply enjoy being himself and not abide behind another's face. Stark appeared genuinely curious, not like he was trying to glean and use the information against Loki, so Loki opened up.

"I'm working on delegating tasks and including citizens in my acts," Loki began. "There's as much art to it as there is to manipulating. I've been surprised to find less differences between myself and some of Asgard after all. A very small number of people, but a number of them nonetheless. If I hadn't been a prince before, perhaps things would have been... different."

"Well, I don't want to say things happen for a reason because that excuse has always been bullshit, but I think we end up where we do because we're supposed to be there. For something. Even if we're there for someone other than ourselves."

"If I wasn't a prince, Thor might already be king."

Stark made a face of horror - his eyes wide and his shoulders curved down. "Please don't mention that again."

Loki felt a giggle bubble out of him despite the serious subject, and Loki tried to smother it, but Stark only looked a bit charmed at the noise.

"Now _that_ sound," he pointed at Loki, "is always welcome here."

"It's not easy to get out lately."

"Ah, but I did." His chest was puffed out, flattered and smug at his own achievement. "Maybe I'll get another out later. Tell me about delegating first."

Loki felt like he could _breathe_ sitting here. Talking about his work, showing his face, sharing himself, and not being rebuffed? He could sit here for hours in silence if he had the ability to do so. Unfortunately, Loki’s time was limited, so he carried on. "Asgard had long abandoned the practice of liaisons and apolitical diplomats. I brought it back and selected those that would be... best suited to work for the betterment of both Asgard and the realm they are representing."

"Best suited by having personal motivations? Wouldn't that get tricky?"

"Not if it's motivations to improve, not undermine. Asgard is more multicultural than first glance shows, but anything other than a pure Aesir line is encouraged to be... obfuscated from public knowledge. I'm not risking taking too many chances when failure has such a high price. But as someone once told me, I can't carry every burden on my shoulders, yes?"

Stark shifted and resettled in his seat. "Exactly. You remember some good advice from once upon a time?" 

"You're not the first to point out that I take on too much. Nor are you one to talk on matters of overburdening yourself, Mr. Stark." 

He hardly looked offended, just smirked and mutely gestured with one hand for Loki to keep talking. 

"For all Asgard boasts a great advancement in technology beyond Midgard-"

"Earth." Stark tried to correct. 

"Beyond _Midgard's_ abilities," Loki corrected back, "much of it was stolen or cloned from other realms. For all the golden city seems a pinnacle, they have been stuck in an archaic mindset for eons. There has been enough war between realms that will do better if united." 

"Aren't you uniting them for a war?" 

"To be stronger against one that I know cannot be swayed with peace. With Thanos defeated, the worlds empowered by their own abilties together, and Odin exposed as the one that had nothing to do with it, there's hope for a future. Otherwise, we do have but to fester in a dim present?" 

"Gotta do something about it to change the world." 

"Not one world, my bright Stark," Stark's eyes flickered with something at that, but he didn't say anything, " _all_ the worlds. Ones you don't even know the names of now." 

"Right, so no pressure?" 

"None at all. Should be simple." 

They both grinned, mad, wild things of dark sarcasm and somehow that much more relieving and light in that it was shared in another being. 

"So if you're exposing Odin, does that mean you're going to eventually going to come out yourself?" 

"At the last moment, yes. _Heroes_ always appear at the right moment, don't they?" Though Loki's disgust with the word made his opinion of the title rather obvious. 

"Don't be a hero," Stark warned, "be a legend. Heroes sacrifice and die over and over again, but legends live forever." 

"We're both already there then, aren't we?" 

Stark's scoff was bitter, but he still smiled as he climbed to his feet and pulled a bottle out of a cabinet against the wall. "Technically, we already tried the hero thing. How many times have I almost died _for the greater good_?" He started trying to count on the fingers of his free hand but gave up when he ran out of fingers and waved himself off. "How many times have _you_ nearly died for someone else or just because letting go was so much easier than holding?" Stark's eyes had glazed over for a moment, his shoulders heavy and the bottle in his hand nearly forgotten as he stared at an unremarkable spot on the wall. It didn't last long before he shook himself out of it, and before Loki could say something like _are you sure you're only talking about me_ and bring more attention to yet another unfortunately shared experience despite their vastly different upbringings.

Stark regained himself and moved with forced animation. "When that went to hell, we ended up here." Retrieving two glasses next, Stark poured a small amount in each and strode over to hand one back to Loki. "To the legends, huh?" 

"To being legendary." Toasting their glasses, Stark took a small sip from his, and Loki followed suit, satisfied the liquor had a pleasant burn that didn't go to his head like Asgardian drink would. Stark seemed to wander back towards his work tables like he was looking to return, but instead of dismissing Loki, Stark questioned him again. 

"So is magic really like _Earth's_ science?"

Loki practically winced; three guesses where that idea came from. "In aspects, I suppose. Thor's always preferred to simplify magic though, given that he has no talent in it." 

Stark laughed and glanced back to Loki. "So share the complexity. Science v. Magic. See who wins."

His eyes narrowed at the challenge. "Like a competition?"

"Exactly like. You worried magic'll lose?" 

Loki stood and stepped closer at Stark's challenging grin. "Not in the slightest." 

**xXx**

Stark was unerringly curious and never short on questions. Further more, he _understood_ what Loki posed. Stark wanted to know _how_ , the tricks of the trade, and if anyone could practice, if _Stark_ could become a practitioner. The truly unusual thing from Loki's experience was that the thirst for knowledge seemed to be just that - the desire to _know_ and _learn_ simply to know something new and not use it for ill. Even of past students of Loki's in Asgard, few in number though they were, did not have that distinction. 

Still, Loki was cautious in how much he shared; he and Stark remained tentative allies at best, and Loki remained eternally paranoid of a double cross. He could spot a lie most of the time, but he only needed to be wrong once for it to get him killed. He could share his plots on Asgard because Stark had no way of informing Asgard of Loki's subterfuge, and there wasn't much reason for Stark to point out and halt it either. _Magic_ on the other hand, could be used against Loki far more easily. 

He likely shared more than he should have, but Loki was just enjoying the company. Enjoying his own skin and ignoring what duties and stresses awaited him on Asgard. And as Loki bared his greatest love of magic, so did Stark return in comparing Midgardian sciences and technologies. They were remarkably similar in aspects, but where science worked with the laws of the world, magic altered and bypassed rules. He'd even manged to create an artificial construct with a personality and mind modeled after another human being. Further than that, he created _multiple_ constructs with unique personalities of their own. A thing that was highly advanced and one step short of impossible _with_ magic, and he had created several to run his workshop and suits. If Stark had enough capability and creativity within such limits, he could be a powerhouse without them, and Loki was as intrigued as he was apprehensive of experiencing the sight Stark would make wrapped in magic and power. 

Then again... It might be worth it to see. If Loki taught Stark such things, perhaps they could remain allies. Partners. Something more than the trepidatious acquaintanceship they had now. He was mistaken in terming his interest as romantic, but that didn’t change Loki's desire to know and learn who Stark really was and befriend the man that was, not the man Loki conjured to comfort himself.

Stark would always be a danger to Loki’s impulse control. Nothing short of Stark's outright rejection would change that, and the exact opposite was what faced them instead. 

_Damn both of our curiosities._

They found themselves working in too close quarters, forgetting personal boundaries as they got lost in exploring a like mind. They saw it in each other's faces when they realized the mistake, but Loki didn’t change it, and Stark just seemed to acknowledge it and continue onwards. 

_"Sorry to interrupt, boss..."_ Friday, Stark's construct spoke up, and Loki felt a prickle of irritation set his back at the interruption. _"But I'm afraid there's a situation that needs your attention."_

Loki hadn't realized just how light Stark was until the announcement put the weight back on his shoulders. "Alright, on my way." He grimaced when he looked back to Loki, and it was a surprise to see Stark appeared just as bothered to break away as Loki was. 

"Duty calls." 

"Goddamn priorities." Stark groused even while smiling bitterly. It turned slightly more amused when he registered the annoyance in Loki's voice too. "Hey. Maybe next time, don't wait so long to pop by." 

If Loki's head tilt looked as quizzical as he felt, then Stark blessedly didn’t mention it.

"As in you don't have to wait for me to call." 

"Why?" 

"Was four hours not enough proof that I kind of enjoyed your company and how easy it was to ignore real life shit?" 

Oh. Had it been that long? Oh dear. Perhaps Loki should have been more concerned than he was. Except for the fact that he enjoyed and needed the refrain as well. "Perhaps I'll need more examples before I can make a decision." 

Stark grinned a small quirk upwards to one side of his mouth. "You're on." 

"Well then, Mr. Stark. Until the next test of tolerance and procrastination." He offered his hand, and Stark stood and took it in a short but firm shake without hesitation.

"It's a plan, Mister- is it Allfather now? Or your majesty? King Definitely-Not-Loki?" 

Loki couldn't stop the short exhale of laughter this time either, and Stark squared his shoulders in pride at causing it again. "Here, I am thankfully none of those. 'Loki' will do just fine." 

"Then I'll be 'Tony' and turn this whole thing downright casual." 

"Perhaps. We'll see at next time, won't we?" 

"I guess we will." Something in Stark's face was unreadable again, and Loki _almost_ had it figured when Friday pressed again. 

_"I'm sorry, boss, but it's quite urgent."_

And there was Stark's belligerence returning. "I'm on the way." He started backing away, but he pointed a finger at Loki first. "Don't forget: no more bumming around on reserve." 

"Yes, I'll definitely fit in visits around running an entire internal government reconstruction. There should be plenty of time for chats." 

"Here is totally a diplomatic mission too, and don't be afraid to use me as an excuse." 

"Yes, yes, later, perhaps, when it won't draw Thor's attention." 

"Have fun, King Loki." 

"Too much of it to stand." 

When Stark smiled and turned his back, Loki allowed himself to leave and return to the king's chambers in Asgard. Finally, this time, he didn't return from Midgard with regret and self-loathing as he had before. There was something worryingly akin to hope festering in his chest, but he couldn't quite release it despite certainly trying his damnedest. He tried, and then that mental image of Stark's easy and excited smile popped back into his head, and Loki was doomed. A friend. Stark called Loki a _friend_. How long had it been since someone called Loki that? 

Sitting down heavily, he slumped into one of the large chairs nearby, legs spread wide and his elbow on the chair arm with his chin in one hand. Today had taken an unexpected turn for the better, but Loki still over-analyzed every aspect - the obvious being that Stark only truly warmed after being assured of Loki's lack of romantic interest. Earlier, it might have offended Loki, but he couldn't much blame Stark. Being an object of affection from someone whose feelings you don't return? Beyond awkward. Had the tables been turned, Loki would have reacted the same. If honestly claiming no untoward feelings meant Stark's comfort, then Loki would say it over again as many times as needed. Besides. No romantic interest didn't mean a entire lack of interest in Loki's company. 

Any apprehension Loki had at Stark's late acceptance was overshadowed by Loki's fond memories of when Stark _did_ accept Loki. 

He didn't know how long he sat there and repeated the afternoon over in his head on near-endless repeat before there was a knock at the door and a guard's call of his - of _Odin's_ name. Loki released a heavy breath before pulling himself and his illusion back into place as he stood. Duty called. 

"Enter and report." 

Loki would never admit that the high of good companionship left him in better spirits the whole day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reader in the comments below summarized Tony and Loki's last words to each other quite succinctly:
>
>> \-- Okay.  
> \-- No you hang up.  
> \-- No YOU.  
> \--Okay.  
> \-- Fine.  
> \-- *tippy taps toes, stands there not teleporting*
> 
> THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. XD


End file.
